Laura Palmer's Secret Diary

Laura Palmer's Secret Diary
As seen by Jennifer Lynch. Based upon characters created by David Lynch and Mark Frost for the Television series, 'Twin Peaks'

Wednesday

September 1, 1984

Dear Diary,

My breasts ache, which is almost silly because they're so tiny. I'll admit they are bigger than they were last week, and certainly nicer looking. Always hard at the little pink tips. But God they hurt.

Mom came in earlier and we actually had a nice talk. I told her I wished she hadn't told Dad about my period, and she apologized but said she only did it because she knew how proud he would be of his little girl's becoming a woman. She changed the water in my heating pad and rubbed my stomach for a long time. We didn't need to say anything to each other for a long while, and still I felt like we were talking. She crawled into bed with me for about an hour after that and let me fall asleep on her shoulder. We shared a soda when I woke up, and for the first time in a long while, I felt like we were really close.

I hope I can sleep through the night tonight.

Love, Laura

4:23 PM

I just know I'm going to get lost in those woods again, tonight. I just know it.
Laura Palmer on tape to Doctor Jacoby, Episode 2

4:22 PM

Sunday

August 31, 1984

Dear Diary,

I have not written to you for ages because I have been trying so hard to be happy and good and around people all the time so that I am never alone to think about the wrong things. Today I must write to You, though, to tell you of the news.

I got my period. It is not at all what I thought it would be. School starts next week and now this. I was getting out of bed this morning and saw the blood. I called for Mom, and she of course made this enormous deal out of the whole thing. She called Dad when I had told her not to tell anyone. And now everyone probably knows up at the Great Northern. All I wanted was some damn pads or something, and she has to go into all of this stuff about how I am now a woman and everything. Okay. Okay. So it is kind of special. But this can only make things worse if I am not careful. I'm in bed now with cramps.

Mom moved the television into my room, which was nice, and I have a heating pad on my belly and tons of aspirin on my nightstand. Television doesn't interest me much, so I am left once again with strange thoughts of life and of . . . other things. I guess what is coming from me was to be the life source of some other being. I am glad there is no one inside me right now. At least not a child.

Sometimes I think there is someone inside me, but it is another, stranger part of me. Sometimes I see her in the mirror. I don't know that I ever want to have children of my own. Something happens to parents, or people who become parents. I think they forget they were ever children themselves and that things might embarrass or upset their kids sometimes, but they have just forgotten or decided to ignore that. Too many bad things happen to me sometimes late at night, so I probably would not be such a good mother. This makes me sad inside.

I am glad of one thing. Jupiter is beside me in bed, and he is purring away softly. Like you, he would never criticize me.

Laura

4:37 PM

Room Service Man: I've heard about you.
The Giant: I will tell you three things. If I tell them to you and they come true then will you believe me?
Agent Cooper: Who's that?
The Giant: Think of me as a friend.
Agent Cooper: Where do you come from?
The Giant: The question is where have you gone?
The first thing I will tell you is - there's a man in a smiling bag.
Second thing is - the owls are not what they seem.
Third thing is - without chemicals he points.
Agent Cooper: What do these things mean?
The Giant: This is all I'm permitted to say. Give me your ring. I will return it to you when you find these things to be true. We want to help you. One last thing, Leo locked inside a hungry horse - there's a clue at Leo's house. You will require medical attention.
The Giant and Agent Cooper Episode 8

4:30 PM

August 16, 1984

Dear Diary,

Never before in my life have I been so confused. It is five-thirty exactly in the morning, and I can barely hold this pen I am shaking so much. I have been in the woods again. Lost. But have been led. I think I am a very bad person. Tomorrow I will start a new way of living. I will not think any more bad thoughts. I will not think any more about sex. Maybe he will stop coming if I try harder to be good. Maybe I could be like Donna. She is a good person. I am bad.

Laura

P.S. I promise, I promise, I promise to be good!

4:06 PM

I know that good is stronger than evil and yet sometimes it's difficult to see it. Even in a place like Twin Peaks.
Agent Cooper "Diane ..." The Twin Peaks Tapes of Agent Cooper.

4:05 PM